Marriage Preparation
The Marriage Preparation Program at Shadow Mountain Community Church is designed to help you lay the foundation for a strong, biblical marriage.
It is our greatest desire to help you...
“Build a Christ-Centered MarriageThat Lasts a Lifetime.”
Your Decision to Marry Is a Commitment
We welcome the opportunity to invest in this commitment and your upcoming marriage. Our marriage preparation program is offered to members and regular attenders of Shadow Mountain Community Church who are marrying for the first time. (Due to the unique dynamics of second marriages we recommend couples in this situation meet with a Christian counselor. Names are available upon request through our office, 619-590-1747.)
If you would like to be married at Shadow Mountain Community Church or desire a Shadow Mountain pastor to officiate your wedding ceremony, completion of a marriage preparation program is required.
To begin our process, please complete the Pre-Marriage Questionnaire for both the bride and groom. After we recieve your questionnaires we will contact you to schedule an interview.
Our Marriage Preparation Program
Our unique program consists of 8 to 10 sessions with a marriage mentor, each lasting about 90 minutes.
Sessions will be held at times and locations that work best for you and your marriage mentors.
Your mentors are a married couple, specially trained, and specifically matched to work with your individual needs.
The same marriage mentors will meet with you for each of the sessions. They will provide personalized guidance as you go through the materials together.
Program Details
Each couple will go through the book, Preparing for Marriage, with their mentors. They will take the Life Innovations Prepare inventory and the Taylor Johnson Temperament Analysis. They will also go through the materials included in the Family Ministries Marriage Preparation Notebook with their mentors.
Goals of this course:
- Be exposed to the important building blocks for a healthy Christian marriage.
- Know what a Christian marriage looks like.
- Develop the skills to lay a good foundation from the beginning.
- Know how to evaluate whether God would have you marry each other and whether this is the right time to marry.
“Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock: and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock.” Matthew 7:24-25
What happens at the Interview?
The bride and groom will meet with our Marriage Preparation Program leaders to discuss their wedding plans and the details of their questionnaires. An overview of the marriage preparation program will be discussed. Premarital couples will also be able to purchase their program materials at the interview. Cost for the materials is $75.00.
Following the interview, the couple will be asked to complete the PREPARE Inventory and Taylor Johnson Temperament Analysis. These tests help to alert their marriage mentors to areas that need specific attention. They also help to identify areas of strength in the relationship. The marriage preparation experience is uniquely designed to meet the needs of each couple.
What are the specific requirements to be married at Shadow Mountain Community Church?
All premarital couples must complete our 8-10 week marriage preparation program, and be a member or regular attendee of SMCC. In addition, the pastors of Shadow Mountain Community Church have determined the following qualifications, based on Biblical truths:
- God’s Word is clear about spiritual compatibility between marriage partners (2 Corinthians 6:14-18). Therefore, Shadow Mountain Community Church pastors will not join an unbeliever to a believer in marriage.
- Bride and groom must abstain from physical intimacy or living together. Sex is a gift from God. He is the one who created it! Therefore, we must follow God’s directions alone regarding our sexuality. The Bible gives us clear instructions for sex within the parameters of the marriage relationship (2 Corinthians 6:3). God’s Word also gives us clear warnings and consequences when sex is used outside of the marriage.
While many of those who come to Shadow Mountain Community Church are honoring God through abstaining from sexual intimacy, there are many that do not fall into this category. Couples who are physically intimate or are living together are asked to move apart and covenant with Shadow Mountain Community Church to abstain from the sexual relationship until their wedding day. We would like the opportunity to encourage you to make this commitment with us, understanding this is God’s best for your marriage relationship. To read a copy of this covenant, click here. - As a part of the Southern Baptist Convention Shadow Mountain Community Church adheres to the following statement from the Baptist Faith and Message, Article XVIII, The Family:
“Marriage is the uniting of one man and one woman in covenant commitment for a lifetime. It is God’s unique gift to reveal the union between Christ and His church, and to provide for the man and the woman in marriage the framework for intimate companionship, the channel for sexual expression according to biblical standards, and the means for procreation of the human race.”
Who do we contact to schedule our wedding at Shadow Mountain Community Church?
Because of the scope of Shadow Mountain ministries, weddings will be limited to Shadow Mountain Community Church members, regular attenders and students who attend San Diego Christian College. To check availability contact Aggie at 619-590-1791.
What is the cost of the Shadow Mountain Community Church marriage preparation program?
The cost is $75.00. This cost covers books, notebooks and other materials. It also pays for the administration and scoring of the national, standardized PREPARE report. Our marriage mentors are not paid; they have chosen marriage mentoring as a special ministry opportunity. Scholarships for the cost of this program are available upon request.
Who does the marriage mentoring?
Your marriage mentors will be a married couple who has received special premarital training. These couples have been married for at least five years and exemplify Christ-centered marriages. They are open and honest about sharing their experiences in their own marriage.
You will work with the same marriage mentors for the full duration of your marriage preparation program. Although these couples are specifically trained in the area of marriage mentoring, they are not professional, licensed counselors. They have chosen marriage mentoring as their ministry at Shadow Mountain Community Church. One of the goals of the ministry is to provide all premarital couples an opportunity to establish a mentoring relationship with their mentor couples, thus encouraging present and future connection to their Shadow Mountain Community Church family.
What do we talk about during the sessions?
You will discuss many subjects throughout your time together. These subjects include marital roles and responsibilities; skills for communicating and resolving conflicts; realistic management of finances; your sexual relationship; your family of origin; and much more! Your relationship strengths will be discussed, as well as areas that need growth.
Details of the sessions are discussed during your premarital interview. Homework assignments are given prior to each session to enhance your understanding (and promote discussion) of the material. The homework is to be completed before each session with your marriage mentors.
What should I expect from the marriage preparation experience?
You should expect to be challenged, strengthened, educated, and better prepared for your upcoming marriage. You will probably experience some laughs, some tears, and some pleasant surprises!
You should leave the program with some problem areas identified, some new marital skills learned, and most importantly – a more realistic expectation of what marriage will be like!
May God richly bless you individually, and as a couple, as you embark on this exciting journey together!
“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no man separate.” Mark 10:7-9
We are committed to God’s ways in preparing for our marriage. We agree to abstain from sexual intimacy until we share our marriage vows together. We believe it is God’s will for our life and marriage to be sanctified, to be set apart for pure and holy living.
“It is God’s will that you be sanctified; that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable…For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you His Holy Spirit.” 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8
We also understand that God does not look at our past failures. Instead, He looks at us as broken people, who He can make anew. With His forgiveness, we can start all over again. As we ask God to forgive us through Jesus, He will see us as a completely new couple.
“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9
We seek to trust God and honor Him by upholding His parameters of sexual intimacy within the context of our future marriage. We believe that with God’s power, we will be able to keep this covenant and be greatly blessed by our obedience to Him.